This morning on the treadmill, deep in thought about a million different things, it hit me. I haven’t written a blog in over two months! What have I been doing that has been keeping me from writing? What will I write about next? What do I have left to talk about?
As I discussed this with myself, my audio book was trying to tell me something in the background of my ever flowing thought patterns. Brené Brown’s audio personality was discussing authenticity and what it means to be authentic. She suggested that authenticity wasn’t something that you either have or have not. It’s something that you create through actions & moments of courage, by practicing honesty & vulnerability.
It was then that I knew what to write about today; Changes.
You see I’ve been going through a lot of them lately. Especially so since the last blog post in September. Maybe that is why I hadn’t written here since. Trying to juggle said changes; work, hobbies, passions, marriage, friends, diet, concerts, commitments & holidays. It’s the human experience. No matter how much you take on, there is always something to juggle at one time or another in your adult life.
Speaking of juggling, have you ever tried to actually juggle 3 objects? It’s not easy. My husband Josh juggles like it’s second nature. He has a set of “real” juggling balls that surface once in a while. He’ll cheerfully grab them, throw them up on a perfect rotating spectacle for a minute or two, to then just giggle and put them down like no big deal. Hmmph, if only I could make it look that easy when juggling daily obstacles! Or maybe it isn’t about juggling at all. Maybe it’s about balance…
I’ve been learning a lot about myself in my thirties. It’s a weird spiritual awakening type feeling. So many Changes. I used to be fearful of change in a lot of ways. I have learned now that change doesn’t have to be scary or something to fear at all. It is actually something to embrace. With change comes growth, new beginnings, chance & diversity.
These past couple of months for me, have included a lot of noticeable changes. Figuring out what you want for yourself and learning how to balance the changes with your regular lifestyle is a challenge.
I realize that I am not your typical thirty-something-year-old. A lot of times I feel like I am the odd person out. I don’t have kids to take care of, or kids “on the way”. I often find myself in a jam room full of empty beers and lingering marijuana smoke. I haven’t had my own car in years. I spend most of my time with my husband and our beloved instruments. I recently gave up meat & cheese having no idea what kind of weird looks & questions I would get from family and friends. All of these “changes” or choices are my own. I understand that. I am proud of them. I have mindfully chosen this path for a reason.
As I continue on my journey / quest / spiritual awakening, if you must. I’m realizing that all of these choices should align with my inner values and what I want for myself. Making changes towards wellness, while embracing the dark corners of what inspires me.
There is a quote / meme out there floating around in internet land that I always love to see when scrolling through the abyss:
This life can bring so much to the table and change is a major part of your experience. Embrace your growth at every twist and turn. Surprise yourself by doing something you never thought you would. Practice using your will power to get what you desire. It may not be easy at first, but with consistent effort and courage to keep trying you can achieve what you once thought was impossible.
Wherever you are needing change in your life, know that there are cheerleaders out there ready to applaud you for your efforts. Including myself. There’s plenty of room for all of us to grow and be the best versions of ourselves, always.
Signing off with love, encouragement & a gentle push.
~ peace, love & fresh breath.